Guilt. It’s that nagging feeling many of us carry around as single or solo parents, no matter how hard we try to shake it off. Whether it’s guilt about not having enough time for your children, the feeling that you're not providing the "perfect" family structure, or those moments when you just need a break, guilt has a sneaky way of creeping in. But the truth is, every parent—whether single, partnered, or otherwise—experiences guilt. It’s how we deal with it that makes all the difference.
If you’ve been wrestling with feelings of guilt as a single or solo parent, you’re not alone. Here’s how to shift your mindset, give yourself a break, and start letting go of that guilt.
Recognise that guilt is normal
First things first: guilt is a natural part of parenting, full stop. It’s easy to believe that only single or solo parents experience these feelings, but the reality is that parents from all walks of life carry guilt in one way or another. The pressures of modern parenting—balancing work, home, and your own wellbeing—are immense. Understanding that guilt is a common emotional experience can help take some of the sting out of it.
Reframe your thinking
When you feel the guilt rising, it’s important to reframe your perspective. Instead of beating yourself up for what you think you’re lacking, focus on what you’re providing. You're doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough. Are your children loved? Cared for? Safe? If so, then you’re succeeding. Try to acknowledge and celebrate the small wins in your day-to-day life, rather than focusing on what you haven’t done.
Challenge unrealistic expectations
Society often bombards us with ideals of what a "perfect" family should look like, and it's easy to feel like you're falling short. Whether it’s seeing happy families on social media or well-meaning comments from others, it can feel like the world is telling you that your solo journey isn’t enough.
But here's the reality: perfection doesn’t exist, and families come in all shapes and sizes. The idea of the "ideal family" is just that—an idea. Your family unit is unique and full of love, and that’s all that matters. Let go of the pressure to meet unrealistic standards that were never made to reflect your life.
Take time for yourself without guilt
It’s not selfish to want a break, even if you're a solo parent. Taking time for yourself is essential. Yet, many single parents struggle with guilt around self-care, feeling like they should be devoting every minute to their children. But here’s the thing: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Taking time to rest, recharge, and focus on yourself makes you a better parent in the long run. Whether it’s getting an early night, finding time for a hobby, or having an afternoon to yourself, taking care of your own needs allows you to show up fully for your children.
Let go of comparison
One of the biggest contributors to guilt is comparison. When we look at other families or parents, it’s easy to feel like we’re not doing enough or that others have it all figured out. But comparison is a trap. Every family, every parent, and every child is different. Just because someone else’s life looks perfect on the outside doesn’t mean it’s without its own challenges.
When you feel the temptation to compare yourself to others, take a step back and refocus on your own journey. You’re doing what works for you and your family, and that’s what matters.
Talk to other parents
Feeling isolated can make guilt more intense, so it’s important to reach out and connect with other parents. Whether you talk to fellow single parents, friends, or family members, you’ll likely discover that everyone is dealing with similar emotions. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can help you feel less alone, and you might pick up some new strategies for letting go of guilt in the process.
Communities like Frolo are a great place to find support. Knowing that there’s a whole network of parents who "get it" can be incredibly reassuring.
Focus on what's really important
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that your children feel loved and supported. They don’t need a perfect parent, or one who does it all. They need *you*—present, caring, and willing to do your best. Children are remarkably resilient, and they’ll thrive in an environment where they feel secure and loved, regardless of the family structure.
Take the time to remind yourself that you’re providing what really matters for your kids. Your love, effort, and presence are enough.
Guilt is part of the parenting journey, but it doesn’t have to define it. As a single or solo parent, you’re doing an incredible job balancing all the demands that come your way. Remember, no one is perfect, and the best thing you can do for your children is to let go of guilt and focus on what you’re already doing right. You’re more than enough, just as you are.
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