Being a single parent comes with unique challenges and each family’s journey is different. From managing a household alone to handling emotional ups and downs, single parents are often stretched to their limits, practically and emotionally. It’s understandable why we sometimes put our lives on pause, focusing all our energy on raising our children, even if it means parking our own dreams and goals.

While prioritising your children is natural, it’s also essential not to lose sight of yourself and your goals. Here are five signs you might be using single parenthood as a reason to hold back and some ways to shift these patterns so you can start living the life you want and deserve.

1. You’re Waiting Until the Kids Are Older

Many single parents feel they can’t pursue their personal goals because of the demands of parenting, thinking, “I’ll have more time once the kids are older.” But waiting indefinitely can mean missing out on personal growth and happiness now.

Try finding small ways to work towards your own goals alongside parenting. If, for instance, you’re interested in a career change, could you set aside an hour a week for online learning? Or look into local resources for support? Your progress may be slow, but even small steps can give you a sense of purpose outside of parenthood. Achieving your dreams doesn’t need to wait, it can start with little actions today.

2. You’re Comparing Yourself to Others and Feeling Left Behind

Social media and even casual conversations can sometimes make it feel like everyone else has it all together, especially those in two-parent households. Comparing your life to others can lead to frustration, jealousy and even a sense of being “less than.” This kind of thinking can create a narrative that your situation limits you in ways that just aren’t true.

Whenever you find yourself comparing, pause and shift focus back to yourself. Acknowledge the things you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Maybe it’s your resilience, the close bond with your child or the ability to handle tough days. Building gratitude can help you reclaim a sense of worth, independent of anyone else’s journey. And do not forget, your strengths as a single parent are unique; embracing them is a powerful step forward.

3. You’re Avoiding Dating, Convinced No One Will Want to Date a Single Parent

Dating as a single parent can be daunting. Many single parents worry that potential partners won’t be interested because they have children or feel there isn’t enough time for dating. But sometimes, this mindset can become a reason to avoid exploring relationships altogether.

Remember, dating doesn’t have to mean a huge commitment. If you’re ready, start small by connecting with others in ways that fit your lifestyle, whether that’s online dating, group activities or classes. Being open to the possibility is more about letting go of fears than making major changes. And remember, there are many people out there who respect and value parents and understand your priorities.

4. You’re Avoiding Family-Centred Events Because You Don’t Fit the Traditional Setup

Attending family events as a single parent can be tough, especially when it feels like you’re the “odd one out” among traditional family setups. Sometimes, it may seem easier to avoid these gatherings than risk feeling uncomfortable or out of place.

While it’s perfectly okay to skip events that don’t serve you, consider the benefits of community for both you and your children. These gatherings can provide opportunities to create memories and connect with others. If it’s easier, bring a friend along or plan to attend just part of the event. Over time, you may find a sense of support and connection that’s worth the initial discomfort.

5. You’re Refusing Help Because You Don’t Want to “Burden” Anyone

Asking for help can feel like a lot, especially when you’re already managing so much on your own. Many single parents take pride in doing it all, but refusing help can keep you in survival mode rather than allowing you to thrive. By believing you’re a burden, you may be closing off from the support that could truly lift you up.

If possible, try accepting small offers of help, whether it’s letting a friend watch the kids for a few hours or accepting practical support from family. Accepting support lightens your load and shows your children the value of community. Letting someone help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a way to make space for the things that can enrich your life.

As a single parent, it’s easy to feel the weight of responsibility. But remember, taking care of yourself and going after what you want isn’t selfish. Recognising these five signs can serve as a gentle reminder that you are so much more than a single parent. When you take steps toward your own happiness, you’re also showing your children the power of resilience, confidence and the courage to pursue their dreams, no matter the circumstances.

Start with one small step toward your goals, whatever they may be. You’re allowed to want more for yourself and with that, you’re giving even more to those you love.

About Orla at Solas Coaching

Orla, the founder of Solas Coaching, understands first hand the challenges of single parenting. Through Solas Coaching, she supports single parents in overcoming the barriers that hold them back, helping them take small steps towards a more fulfilled life. It's all about building confidence and regaining control, without sacrificing personal dreams.

For single parents looking to move forward, Solas Coaching offers guidance to help navigate the pressures of daily life. To learn more about how this approach can help you, visit www.solascoaching.com.

Orla is also the host of Single Parent Reset, a podcast helping single parents reclaim balance, prioritise themselves and take back control with practical, empowering steps to navigate the challenges of single parenting

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